A Little Bit of a Bad Boy

Friday night Jenn, the kids and I went over to one of our neighbors houses for a little bbq. They have a son who was born on the same day as Tony Jr, and they get a long pretty great. While it was still light out Flynn and Tony Jr. took turns hitting a plastic ball with a plastic baseball bat as Flynn's mom tossed the ball to them. Both of them are pretty good at batting for (almost) four year olds. They hit about 25 of the 30 or so balls that were thrown to them between the two of them. It started to rain so they went inside to play.

When we got home I asked Tony Jr. If he had fun. He said, "yeah, but I was a little bit of a bad boy."

"Why do you say that," I asked.

"Daddy, I was a little bit of a bad boy because . . . " he looked down at the floor and with a sad voice said  "I was a little bit of a bad boy because, because, I didn't hit the ball every time."

He's obsessed with good and bad right now. With good guys and bad guys, with being a good boy or a bad boy. In his mind he's trying to learn about the world around him by looking at things through that prism, is it good or bad. Dogs, foxes and coyotes are good. Big bad wolf is, well, bad. Friendly dinosaurs are good, mean dinosaurs are bad. Nice kids are good, mean kids are bad. If he helps his little sister that's good, if he pushes her, that's bad.

I had to explain to him that he wasn't a bad boy for not hitting every ball. The best batters that ever lived missed some balls. A lot of boys miss just about every ball, that doesn't make them bad. You can be a good kid and not be very good at hitting baseballs too.

I was thinking of that when I read Michael Phillips article on Donald Rosenberg.

The same could be said of much of the art being created in America today. There is so much fear and self-censorship, there are so few full-time salaries. You can smell the caution and paranoia in too many shows weighed down by generalities and a devotion to MFA's, Regional Theatres and Critics, which isn't what this endeavor is about at all.

I see many of the same traits in my son as he tries to navigate a world that grows with every new thing he learns. Our ever changing world with an uncertain future must be a lot like what it looks like to young kids. Everything they learn changes the way they see the world. It often contradicts what they just figured out.

Phillips adds:

Approached the wrong way criticism is an inherently arrogant and narcissistic pursuit, yet what I'm left with, increasingly, is how humbling it is. It's hard to get a review right for yourself, let alone for anyone reading it later. It's even harder to be an artist worth writing and reading about, because so much conspires against even an inspired artist's bravest efforts.

The same could be said about creating art, or about childhood. Along the way you're going to miss a lot of balls. It doesn't make you a bad critic, or a bad artist, or a bad kid. You can be a good adult and not be very good at art or criticism too.  A previous editor decided Rosenberg was good enough to keep his job. The current one decided he wasn't. Is that a little bit of a bad thing?