Juan's blog

The Language my parents speak…

This paraphrased line from Cloud Tectonics;really got stuck in my head, and then when the Alcyone Festival came around the phrase eventually lead to La Hija de Las Flores.

I remember asking Tony where the Latin playwrights were when choosing the line-up for the festival. “That’s a good question” he responded as he began to click away on the computer. We found three scripts in Spanish all by the same playwright (Gertudis Gomez de Avellaneda). The thing that made me lean towards Hija was how much the characters of Juan the gardener and Tomasa his wife reminded me of my parents. When reading a play I know I’m enjoying it when I imagine the story in my head. Before the play got cast, I always saw my mom and dad in my head.

At first we toyed with the idea of translating the play and having the actors perform in English, but when we realized we had four months to write the translation the idea to try it in Spanish came to everyone’s head. Tony expressed some concern in finding Spanish speaking actors. “It shouldn’t be too much of a problem” I told him. It shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Before I go on, I’d like to mention how much talent the cast of Flora has and brings to the rehearsals, and how much fun we have during rehearsals. The play is a stroke of comic genius and the cast is executing that comedy to perfection. The problem with having such a talented cast is that I’m not the only one who notices their talent. I’m fighting conflicts during the rehearsal period left and right. Once I think I have a grasp on things some new conflicts are thrown into my hands causing me to fumble then lose my grip again. The fact of the matter is the pool of Spanish speaking actors isn’t exactly the size of Lake Michigan; it’s more like an inflatable kid’s pool in someone’s back yard.

So has the production been worth the struggles? Hell yes, both personally and for the sake of the company. As far as the company goes, we preach this concept of one world, one story, and I feel that this play falls into our mission perfectly. It shouldn’t be enough that we have such a diverse ensemble but that we should use the differences in our ensemble to get the most out of ourselves. As for me, Flora gives me the opportunity to be involved with a production that my parents can fully understand, and enjoy; as art assumes the language that they have been speaking all of their lives.

But what happens to someone as an artist if they just stick to what feels comfortable without seemingly expanding or challenging themselves to other works. Am I limiting myself to Latin based works as a director because I feel the need to do that, or because that’s all I feel comfortable doing? Is there anything wrong with only exploring genres you're comfortable with, and is there a sense of obligation because I am a Latino?

“Tension makes good art.” It’s hard to say when I originally heard this quote, or who said it to me, but it’s a phrase I constantly hear when having conversations about theatre. The quote is unforgettable because it has always held true, and for the first time in my short career I understand why, and am not just pretending to understand.

When having conversations about Cloud Tectonics with friends and colleagues I would always say that the only thing that could mess this play up was me. I’d try to deliver the line as a joke but people would see right through it, and usually put their heads down and mumble some words of comfort. I was creating my own tension. Knowing that I was the only person who could do any damage to this play consumed me. That phrase would eventually become the fuel for the engine I needed to drive this play along.

The hardest thing I’ve had to face as a new director, and that I am anticipating in the future, is controlling that self-made tension. It would be simple not to give birth to it in the first place, but without it everything will always wind up being just good enough. You won’t strive for greatness, and perfection will be a fantasy you daydream about the way children do when they say they want to be a power ranger when they grow up. Tension makes perfection improbable instead of unattainable. During tech week, I couldn’t catch a wink of sleep to save my soul. Thoughts of the play ran through my head constantly. I remember the day before opening night when my father asked me how things were going. I told him that the show was in good shape but it could be better. He responded by saying that there comes a point when you have to settle with what you have. I closed the conversation by asking him what kind of director I would be if I “settled” for anything during this or any production.

Surprisingly enough the biggest problem I had was maintaining the tension when all along I thought that the problem would be containing it. I was fortunate enough to find actors, designers and a crew who held the script at the same level as I did. Their worries were never about how to get along with the other designers or actors, their worries were the same as mine. Everyone was thinking about making sure they didn’t mess up the play. Once that fear was beyond them they concentrated on how to enhance the play. All the tension was inner tension, tension that derives from expectations you set for your self. That is the kind of tension that makes good art. Not to say that those self made forces don’t collide with someone else’s; that’s when things can get nasty. I was fortunate enough not to experience that my first time around. This script lends itself to greatness. Anyone who read it fell in love with it. Everyone who worked on it acted on the love for the script. It’s hard to disappoint something you love that much.

I can only speak for myself, but the reason that people love this play so much is because it speaks of a love that is eternal. The play is about love in regards to family. All the characters are searching for a place to call home. In that sense this play delivers Halcyon’s mission perfectly. It proves that people with totally different ways of experiencing the world can unite and form a bond as tight as the bond formed in a family. That bond will continue to evolve through every level of the company member’s and associate’s careers. And as a result of that bond the tension that I talked about earlier won’t be a tension based on anything but a self generated need to assure we live up the ideals that Halcyon Theatre represents, the same way that this cast and crew lived up to the ideals that Cloud Tectonics represent.

Before this play the word tension always had a negative connotation to it. The biggest lesson I’ve learned as a director is if there is no fear of messing up the play, then it might not be a play you really believe in. The tension will be non-existent, and you’ll just be going through motions. When a play is so good that you fear not doing it justice, that fear will guide you. The other thing worth mentioning is that if the point ever does come when your self-made tension is overbearing, it’s reassuring to know that you have a group that is as tight as family to support you.