The idea of Ladies Weekend was so popular, but some of you ladies were bummed that it was too short notice for you to be able to come.

We don't like you to be bummed!

SO- $17 with a glass of wine for any show until supplies run out with the code DIONYSUS

Come party with us at Iphegenia...(a rave fable) this weekend!

Iphigenia Crash Land Falls on the Neon Shell That Was Once Her Heart (a rave fable)
by Caridad Svich

Top 5 picks this week-Hottix

"3 STARS ...a transfixing vision of hell on earth, buttressed by Svich's fractured poetic voice and her unblinking laser gaze...the most assured and sophisticated production I've seen from Halcyon."~ Chicago Tribune

"Thank you for an awesome performance...It was a very memorable performance and the students really seemed energized by it." ~ Sarah, University of Chicago teacher who brought a group of students

At the Greenhouse Theatre Center, 2257 N. Lincoln Ave.

To buy tickets: click here or call 773.404.7336 and use the Promo Code DIONYSUS

Running Time is 75 minutes.

Discounted Parking is available nearby.

For more info, visit http://www.halcyontheatre.org/iphigenia

$17 with a glass of wine for any show this weekend with the code DIONYSUS

Come party with us at Iphegenia...(a rave fable) this weekend!

Iphigenia Crash Land Falls on the Neon Shell That Was Once Her Heart (a rave fable)
by Caridad Svich

Top 5 picks this week-Hottix

"3 STARS ...a transfixing vision of hell on earth, buttressed by Svich's fractured poetic voice and her unblinking laser gaze...the most assured and sophisticated production I've seen from Halcyon."~ Chicago Tribune

"Thank you for an awesome performance...It was a very memorable performance and the students really seemed energized by it." ~ Sarah, University of Chicago teacher who brought a group of students

At the Greenhouse Theatre Center, 2257 N. Lincoln Ave.

To buy tickets: click here or call 773.404.7336 and use the Promo Code DIONYSUS

Running Time is 75 minutes.

Discounted Parking is available nearby.

For more info, visit http://www.halcyontheatre.org/iphigenia

A friend of mine who came to see Trickster was talking to Tony and I afterward about some of the sexual content and the violence that was seen and talked about. She works in education, in areas involving sexual assault, rape, and other very sensitive issues. While she thought we handled the matter well, she said that if we were doing a show like that again and we  wanted her to come in and talk to our cast and crew about how to handle it, she'd love to do so. As we talked more, she said that the chances are very good that when someone does a show with sexual or other violence in it, there is someone in the audience who has experienced it, and it may trigger a reaction in them to see it played out or talked about.

I thought about that conversation again tonight after seeing a show that hit very close to home in about a buzzillion different ways.

The show was under an hour, and I literally spent most of it with tears streaming down my face and the feeling I was going to throw up. It was a very tight show, obviously. Some nit-picky notes aside, it had to be good to affect me in such a way. But if I could have, I would have left. Because it was too much. The thing is, I couldn’t leave. You know the Chicago Storefront M.O- I was in the front row in a house with 20 seats, and would have had to cross the stage to get out. After curtain call I booked it out, and it took me 20 minutes of walking in the rain (having left my umbrella in my haste) to be calm enough to drown the rest of my sorrows in the local CVS drugstore.

And tonight as I lay awake at 1:00 a.m., I wonder... do we as artists have an obligation to our audience to be aware of this kind of response? I don’t feel like most of us are... I certainly can’t think of a show I have directed where I have built in an escape route for an emotionally hit audience member. Can you?

As I think more about it, I think the general feeling about how our shows affect the audience is that we want to give them insight into a subject they might not know enough about, or to help/make them become more personally attached to a subject they might be avoiding or have a bias against.  But what about those audience members who may already know, too closely, what we are talking about?

The more Halcyon engages and embraces its mission onstage, the more diverse we hope our audience will become as well. Does that mean we then broaden our chances that someone in our audience may already have experienced the things we are showing them. One of the big underlying themes in Trickster and overlying themes in Iphegenia, is the murder of thousands of women in Juarez. Also, in Trickster, the segments that talked about family members being murdered to still the voice of a rebel were taken from news stories that have happened IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS. In the past we have talked about villages in Nigeria being plagued by drought and burned to the ground, artists being killed for being homosexual, babies being killed by soldiers. Do we need to be thinking about the possibility of an audience member seeing the show whose family members HAVE been murdered; whose home HAS been destroyed; who HAS been assaulted.

But then, how far do you take it? I watched the movie Hope Floats after my college boyfriend cheated on me and I felt pretty bad afterwards... I may even have cried as I left the movie theater... I’m only being flippant and taking it to the other extreme as a way to seriously ask, “If we want to affect our audience with what we are giving them, to what extent are we responsible to our audience for what we give them?”

Or is our responsibility only to open the door, and to hope that a wet walk and a new red lipgloss will be enough to get them home?

There are three weekends left to see Trickster! Get your tickets online or at The Greenhouse Box Office. Running time is 2 1/2 hours including intermission.

Here is a letter that one audience member, Dav Faust, wrote to her friend about Trickster that she shared with us as well...

The repertory theater group, Halcyon, augmented by several additional performers called artistic associates, is presenting a play of curious, apocalyptic inference at the Greenhouse Theater Center on Lincoln Avenue from January 6-30, 2011.

Written by Tony Adams, who also directed and did scenic design, The play, Trickster, managed to hold my interest throughout last night's performance due to careful writing consisting of heady conflict furthering the plot in just about every scene. The characters were interesting, clearly drawn, and each unique enough and sympathetic enough for audience to want emotional involvement with them. The actors who played the characters were a rather unique and somewhat wild bunch in their own right, so some of that audience interest was no doubt a charismatic attraction to the theater company players. The intimacy of community theater made it possible to observe closeup and without mikes, adding to audience emotional inclusion nicely.

The nudity and violence were not obsessive nor objectionable as they were necessary to the thematic material and tastefully choreographed so they were not in your face. The acting was experienced. The sets were cool and suggestive, adding to the mythological feeling. The staging and stage movement was smooth and flowing. Nothing stood out as glaring or wrong. However, I believe there could have been fewer scenes to effectively tell even such a horrific story about man's conflict with fellow man in an age of the fall of civilization. I also spotted not many but a few narrative descriptions of powerful incidents which should have been acted out. Good writing requires narration to be only informational and transitional while action should carry all the story which has emotional impact.

Though all the actors were above average, one particular supporting actor is worthy of special mention. Chistine Lin was, even in deep background, always contributing authentically without fail to the scene as a whole or even to the theme of the spotlighted actor. She was a miracle of concentration and actively in character in interesting and flowing detail at all times. In painting you look for the action of fringe elements to lead you back into the picture so that you are never lost in space or evicted from the experience of the art. That is exactly what this talented support actor did for this performance. One could almost ascertain what feeling one should have of present action on stage just by watching her. She was a gauge and a telltale reminder of what was happening just by her well-thought-out and well-rehearsed body language.

I do believe this play good enough to be worth the extra effort usually engaged in by professional playwrights, which is  to have their drafts read by another writer not so close to the writing. Most writers, even professionals, overwrite early drafts and don't see it. Paring the writing is as important as enriching it. I nevertheless recommend spending an evening and the small cost of the ticket for this intellectually worthwhile and thoroughly enjoyable entertainment but I also hope it finds its way to an editing session.

Oh my gosh, I am sooooo sorry!!! I know you have all been sitting on your hands waiting to hear how rehearsals have gone with the kids. I have left you hanging... I know there hasn't been much else going on in the world!

Okay... it has actually been really cool. Our friend Vanesa offered to watch the kids on Tuesdays, so they didn't come to the read-through, which was great because it was nice to be able to focus completely on the script and the cast that first night. And then my sister-in-law (pretty close, anyway!) offered to watch them on Wednesdays. So they've actually only been to two rehearsals and may only come once a week.

And that's great, because for as good as they both have been, it makes them really tired the next day. Since life goes on during the day, with Tony's school and playing and such, they ended up being pretty zonked. They were awesome both times, and Charlotte took a nap during Saturdays rehearsal, but it is really a lot to ask of them to not get home until 11 p.m. three nights in a row.

The really cool thing was that Tony Jr. participated in warm-ups, including an energy circle, with us, and he did some of the movement and scene work too! He was so brave and excited, doing Suzuki walk across the floor, and when we learned a section in the beginning where people move through the water and sing, and he caught right on and joined in, even singing the song with us and leaving my side to go right behind the leader! He loved it.

Charlotte also participated when she woke up, being an actor walking around and taking in the room. A natural viewpointer! There was some concern expressed, rightfully, because it is hard to really participate fully when you are worried about stepping on a 2-year old. I think, while it was fun for me and the kids, it would be disrespectful to the cast and the process to let her do that again. There may be other places she can take part, but something like that she will need to stay in the playpen.

When we were sitting at the dinner table on Saturday night, we all started singing "Wade in the Water" and "Amazing Grace" (songs that are (as of right now) in the show) together. A little Sound of Music, but it seems like it all might work out well!

Now the biggest challenge for me is to find time during the day to think about the play and my role. I think I will need to designate specific "Mommy time" each day for that. I already forgot my homework the other night and haven't submitted my bio yet. I know I'm not the only actor who forgets those things, but I already feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I haven't acted in so long. I need MORE time, not less ;)
 

PS- My headshot is black and white, 11 years old, and I look like I'm selling real estate! Yikes!!!!

It was a good first rehearsal with the kids. Charlotte was a little loud, but who wouldn't be their first time at a rehearsal? Heck, I was a little loud!

It was hard at some points for me to switch back and forth from actor to mommy... Tony Sr. asked if I wanted to lead some suzuki stuff, and I didn't feel prepared to do that... I needed to be a listener to keep my focus...

Tony Jr. was fantastic, and at the end of the night he wanted to be part of the read-through. So he got to say "The End."

I know it will take a few days to get them into the routine, but I was really proud of them, and of the cast and crew for being able to absorb them into the group. Thanks, guys!

I couldn't get the images to work for the blog, but you can see them at the Halcyon Facebook page.

I recently emailed a friend of mine who is an actress to see how she is doing. She has a new baby, and it has been a bit since we’ve been able to talk... Her response was like listening to a pre-recorded interview with myself...

“The family is doing great, but I've been struggling with the loss of myself - that fun creative energetic girl I used to be. I guess I can still be fun and creative when it comes to "how will I ever get through the next 3 hours!" ;) I've just been down a bit - missing my past life and wondering when and how I can reclaim what was once mine. Really wishing I could get back on stage or even in front of a camera for that matter but understanding that I must be patient and seek out other ways that I can still be involved while being there for my family.”

It’s amazing how many aspects of being a mother I thought of as cliche, and it turns out there’s a reason for that... it really happens, on a regular basis, to most new parents. Especially, I think, the primary or stay-at-home parent...

When I was in High School I wanted to be a star on Broadway. Still do, if I am being honest! When I moved to Chicago I wanted to be the city’s greatest director. I still want to be the next David Cromer. Or the next, next, next David Cromer. He was at this for, like, 20 years before Broadway called, I think... But of course you have to do the work to make those dreams happen. My college prof. used to say it was 10% talent and 45% stamina and 45% determination.

When you have children, you make sacrifices and compromises. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying or the thing being compromised IS their children. It doesn’t mean that you never do what you want anymore, or that you can never be in a show again, but it does involve a lot of maneuvering and scheduling to make sure that it works.

When we first had our children, I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to do a show. I directed both times when I was pregnant, and one of the reasons was because I knew that once the baby was born I would want to be home with them. Also, as our kids were born and have grown, Tony Sr. and I have re-distributed our roles and responsibilities. He has taken on more of the theatre stuff and I have taken on more of the day-to-day child-rearing. I don’t do the books- I look at the budgets, but I don’t DO the budgets. He doesn’t research schools- He looks at the final choices and helps pick classes, but he doesn’t do the preliminary work. It would be insane if we both tried to do everything.

And honestly, when you are responsible for a LIFE, for making sure someone grows up happy and healthy, sometimes you don’t WANT to leave the house. You don’t want to make/let someone else be the one who gets/has to do that. However, it can absorb you- absorb your thoughts and your time, and before you know it, you are saying “what is going on in the outside world again? Who is president? What did I love before I loved my kids?”

There have been many times where I have felt like Superwoman. I do craft projects and music with the kids, get them to take a nap and write a grant proposal and a blog post, make dinner and then have the kind of quality time with Tony Sr. that we had before we were married. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Then there are times when I forget to get the kids out of their pj’s until 10 in the morning. I spend the day wiping boogers and cleaning butts, trying to get Charlotte not to throw her lunch all over the floor, when Tony Sr gets home the kids are in their most spastic crazy time, and when Tony tries to talk to me about next Season or board development or that TimeOut Chicago wants to do a 4-page spread on Halcyon (come on, Kris, you know you wanna!!!), my eyes glaze over...

There have been many times where I have felt like I have no personality of my own anymore. I used to be crazy, funny, passionate, motivated (and of course talented!). Now I feel focused. Grounded. And talented, but that talent is dormant. When Tony gets passionate about the theatre scene, sometimes I WISH I could be that passionate. I remember when I was an Artistic Director, and I thought about the company night and day to keep it alive and thriving... where did that girl go? I worry that I’m not giving enough to Halcyon; that my directing skills will dry up because I am not out there seeing what other people are directing. I want to take classes and go to workshops, but kids clothes and diapers come first and none of us have been to the dentist. I want to take a dance class, but does that mean we need to get a babysitter? Because God knows that THAT is a struggle in itself!

I don’t have an answer. Doing Trickster is a huge part for me of trying to combat that. Because, like with everything, I feel like the longer we wait to get the kids acclimated to OUR lifestyle the harder it will be to do it. I am hoping that together, Tony and I can navigate the things WE want and need with the things our kids want and, more importantly, need (because let’s be honest, what they WANT right now is Pillow Pets and candy). I am hoping that the kids love it, and are quiet, that they get enough sleep, that the cast loves having them around, and that it is the beginning of the way we always work.

Mostly, I want to do what it takes to make the different aspects of my life live in unity. I married into theatre because I can’t imagine being with someone who leads a different style of life than I do. I need that unity. And while sometimes I feel like those aspects are drifting further and further apart, the only ones who can bring them closer together are me and my family. Like two canoes that are tied together and don’t stay together unless you hold onto both at once. I just hope noone’s fingers get smashed in the middle in the process.

I've read a few of the blogs on bullies, and seen the videos circulating trying to let kids know that "It Gets Better." I haven't had a chance to watch a lot of them, but I think it's an amazing show of support and compassion for kids who spend a lot of time suffering and doubting and feeling like they have no worth.

And it doesn't stop when your age has a two in front instead of a one.

When I was a teenager, I lived in Maine. Even though I did theatre, I didn't know anyone who was openly gay. My high school actually had a gay and lesbian group (ALLIANCE maybe?), and that was very progressive for 1987-91, but no one I was friends with was out.

When I got to college, of course, all that changed. Over the course of my six (yeah, go ahead and laugh, it took me six) years, about 1/3 of my friends were openly gay or bi. One day I was driving with a friend of mine, and I decided to ask him what it was like to be gay in terms of relationships because I honestly didn't know and I wanted too. And what he told me was ABSOLUTELY no different then the way I felt every day. About sex, and more importantly, about love. The same hopes, the same desires, the same fears.

Of course he was talking about was all the feelings associated with love and sex that DON'T come with being different from the mainstream: the fear of being ridiculed, embarrassed, killed.

I think it was around that time that I made the decision that I ever fell in love and it was with a woman, I wouldn't let myself be too scared to admit it. I would embrace it and see where it led.

I don't think I ever thought it would happen, but it did. It was the first time in a long time that I had felt intelligent, funny, special. And yeah there were drunken make-out sessions in bars, but way more than that was how it felt to feel needed and as if there was someone who wanted to call ME if something good happened to them. I was scared shitless.

I thought about ignoring the way I felt. I spent hours thinking "Does this mean I'm gay? Do I tell my family? Are they going to disown me?" With all the gay friends I had, including my two best friends in the whole world, I still felt dirty and like a pervert. It is a really awful feeling to think that something about yourself is going to be thought of as gross or laughable or... even evil. And to feel that in yourself, despite the fact that everything you know proves otherwise.

I also remembered my promise to myself. And I decided that to do anything other than get over my fear would make me a hypocrite. I decided to tell her I loved her.

And she ran out my front door in fear.

I spent a long time trying to figure the whole thing out. I was embarrassed to tell almost everyone I knew. I acted like nothing was wrong to all of our friends for many years. I went home for three weeks and stayed in bed for most of it. I got therapy. I took a really long look at myself and what my role in the scenario was and what hers was. I worked it out. But all this time later it is still an incredibly hard thing to write about and share.

Looking back, I don't know if it was really love or the fact that she made me feel so... important... I hadn't had a lot of self-worth in a while, and she made me feel worthy. But I know that it was agonizing from beginning to end. And I know that the only thing I wanted was to be happy. I don't think being gay or straight is a black and white issue... on the sliding scale I tip more straight than not, I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. But it very easily could have gone another way...

I think being gay is about way more than just sex. It's not just about what happens in bars (well, any more than being straight is... have you walked by Thai's Lounge at 4:30 in the morning?), or who is a top or whether you are a lipstick lesbian or a butch lesbian. I imagine it is about wanting to feel loved and adored and respected and vital and WORTHY and wanting to make someone else feel the same way. It's not about being different, it's about being human. It's not about Saturday night, it is about Sunday afternoon when it is raining and a good movie is on. It is about who is going to still want to be with you when you have no hair, double the stomach, and you fart in your sleep.

I am a straight ally and there are 363 days until the next National Coming Out Day, but I'm coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality every day because it's 2010 and almost 90% of LGBT youth experience harassment in school, and too many lives have been lost. Stand with me to show support for those who cannot.

So yes, we ARE crazy. We have decided (in large part due to the support of viewers like you!) to move forward with doing the show together and bringing our children.

(Insert sounds of excitement, fear, giddiness and nausea here)
Things that this entails before rehearsals even start:

1) Getting Charlotte to sleep in a toddler bed. That way, Jonah (the baby I watch during the week) can sleep in the crib for naps and we can take the playpen to the rehearsal space.

2a) Making a list of everything the kids will eat
  b) Making a weekly list of meals. We are going to need to do a lot of prep work on Sundays so that we can pack meals and bring them to the theatre for rehearsals.

3) Making a weekly cleaning schedule. We are NOT the most diligent cleaners. Especially with our busy schedules, and the fact that Jonah is now mobile, it's going to be important to keep a schedule and keep the house clean.

4) Slowly switch bedtimes to be a little later. Right now the kids are in bed, and usually asleep, by 7:30 p.m. Depending on the night's schedule it may need to be later. An added bonus may be that they sleep later than 7:00 in the morning!

5) Incorporate packing into the daily routine. If we forget Charlotte's blanket, we're screwed.
 

Things on my mind: Whether it's possible to work time for me to read bedtime books into the rehearsal process; How to keep noise to a minimum; How to make sure this is fun for Tony Jr. and Charlotte; How to make sure Tony Sr. and the other actors (and myself) can work and not be distracted; You know, the fact that I haven't acted in years and I may be nude and I'm nervous; I play a woman who can't have children, and I have a C-Section scar (see potential nudity)... I wanted to do sit-ups so my stomach didn't give away that I've had children, but today I realized that the "soft lower belly" actually helps hide the scar (awesome)... so there's THAT...

I've rehearsed with the kids before. I've held Tony Jr. while running scenes, breastfed him while blocking, taken Charlotte to tech. It's hard. I'm not gonna lie. They want (and deserve) attention. So the more prepared we can be before we start, the smoother it will run.

Or, it will be like childbirth. You take the classes, make a birth plan, visit the hospital, and pack your famour Overnight Bag... and then you get to the emergency room and you don't know if your water has broken and the Alternative Birthing Center is closed b/c they don't have enough people to staff it. And you are flying by the seat of your pants and hoping for the best.

Yesterday Tony and I were on our way to see a show, and we were talking about Trickster and casting.

The cast Tony has so far is awesome, but he needs more people. I asked about a certain character, and he said, "I need someone who isn't opposed to the potential of nudity who can sing Amazing Grace really well." And I said, "Like me?"

We always joke about that, partially b/c I always seem to end up in the show or almost in the show, and partially b/c "who would watch the kids?"

The thing is, I'm not really joking. I would really love to be in this show, and I'm dying to be onstage again. I have been craving it for a while, and each time I almost end up in a show and don't, I get a little sadder. And Tony and I agree that the only downside to having kids (besides the food bill) is that we don't get to work together very much. It used to be what we loved the most, and now people joke when we are actually in the same room together. We both miss it a lot.

So, what do we do? Do we bring the kids to rehearsal with things to keep them occupied while I'm rehearsing? Bring pillows and blankets for them to sleep? It's a great excuse to get a Pillow Pet...it IS a Pet with a Purpose!

I think they'd be fine. Theatre families have been doing it for years. Tony is older now, and Charlotte can sleep anywhere... but what if I'm wrong?

Travel would be a drag, b/c we don't have a car. It would mean packing up the double stroller and taking it back and forth to The Greenhouse on the train for rehearsals. In winter. But we'd all be together. And I'd get5 to act, and Tony and I could work together.

We could get an I-Go car-sharing subscription. It would be $75 for the year plus $8.50 an hour for each reservation. That's roughly 42.50 a day plus parking, 4 days a week. Probably can't do that. Although Tony Jr. would love having a car!

We could get a babysitter. That's $10 an hour, 4 days a week... No, we couldn't get a babysitter.

I could stay home with the kids and Tony could cast outside the company. And have no creative process and not see Tony much and be home with the kids by myself pretty much 4 days a week for the next 6 months, since Tony is directing the next two shows (he hasn't directed a mainstage show since Henry, in our second season. He deserves to direct.)... it's what we planned on, but my heart lifted at the thought of not having to play it that way.

I have always planned that we would bring our kids to rehearsals. Eventually. But it sure is scary to know when to start. When will they be ready? How long can I wait? Will it make them too tired? Will it make me too tired? Will they be quiet enough? Will they be able to sleep there? Will they love it that we're together so much? Will they want to join the show? Will they hate upsetting the routine? Will they sleep later in the morning? Will I be exhausted, or have MORE energy because of the energy and exercise and creativity and HAPPINESS of doing a show?

Each time I was pregnant I directed and I loved it. It was so envigorating, and kept me active and not so focused on the pregnancy (which was a good thing. I tend to get obsessive if I'm bored or don't have multiple things to focus on).

Plus, I get huge cabin fever in the winter and by February I am usually pretty miserable. It would be great to be involved in a show and have a reason to leave the house!

Tony says he would love to have me in the show. If it doesn't mean destroying our family. He misses working together too. But we won't know until we're in it if that is going to happen, and then what do we do if it isn't working out? Will the other people in the cast be cool with the kids being there or will they be distracted and resentful?

Is now the right time? Is it ever the right time? Is it now or never? We're never going to know until we try it.