I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :) I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :) I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :)I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :)I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :) I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :)I recently pretended I was an actor again, in a 10-minute play that Juan directed for Rubicon’s 2nd Annual Kassi Dallmann Short Play Festival.  I meant to write this then, but it’s amazing how time gets away from one… Ah well, “better late than never, I always say.” – btw, who DOESN’T say that???

It was very strange to be acting again.  I always forget how nervous I get now.  I started doing theatre when I was 5, and was primarily an actor until I moved here roughly 10 years ago (I’m 35, for all you nosies… good lord… sometimes I feel so young, and sometimes I feel SO old…!  I digress)  I was always the one who knew everyone’s lines before they did, could step in to a part at a moment’s notice (and did, on occasion) and who lived to be onstage, especially in musicals.  I moved here, found my passion for directing, and ditched everything I knew in favor of that gritty, in-your-face theatre that is oh-so-post-college Chicago.  I stopped acting for the most part at that time.

Now, each time I go back to it, it gets harder and harder. The lines don’t come easily for MY character, never mind everyone else’s.  I get terrible stage fright in rehearsals and performances.  It usually takes me a few rehearsals to get over the obnoxious non-stop talking that my adrenaline kicks into high gear and that comes back in time for dress rehearsals.  Baahhrrg… who needs it?

It was a bizarre and awesome challenge, really, to focus my thoughts simply on my characters’ part of the world of the play, and not to develop a “vision” of what the play would be.

This time was interesting as well, because I was acting for Juan, who I have directed 3 or 4 times…I was very aware of my comments; I wanted to be careful to make sure they pertained to my character.  I didn’t want Juan to think I was trying to direct his show.  I was aware of trying to listen to his vision and “act” accordingly.  I was so insecure about wanting to not only be a good actor, but to not be a difficult one actor.  I really trust Juan as a director. It was cool to see his different directing style, and I didn’t want to let him down.

There was a point when another actor had an idea that would completely change Juan’s concept. There was part of me that wanted to get all defensive and directory and say “Don’t do it, Juan!  Don’t let him change your vision!” How weird it was to have to think about wording my question so that it focused on my role in the whole thing… “If you go that way with your idea, it affects me this way.  If you stay with the original idea, it affects me this way.  Which would you like?”

And then there were performances… Gah… Usually I’m so confident.  I really know who I am as a director; it was crazy to get to performances and not want to screw up not only for me but because it would reflect badly on Juan… I don’t think I’ll act again anytime soon, but it was a fun and insightful experience that I hope Juan is glad he cast me  :)